Dispatches from the Moon

Failure 1001 — Freelancing

Space Cowboy — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:04:06 +0000

The independent contractors hired to assault the citadel failed, taking immense casualties from the heavy spooge cannons of the smurf defenders. That was the end of our ambitions on the planet Aldabaran. Next up, making the dog-star our bitch

The Ancient Centauri Wish to Announce

Space Cowboy — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 02:22:50 +0000

…that unless people adopt two-wheeled vehicles as their form of transport, Earth will perish and ninjas will attack your dear old mother with deadly rat-flails.

Dispatch #1.3 — Fear the Glib

Space Cowboy — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 04:33:04 +0000

Be wary of the glib ones, for they hold the special mayonnaise which reveals truth

Dispatch #1.2 — Smurf Lube

Space Cowboy — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 04:10:33 +0000

When in doubt about one’s job security, personal performance can always be enhanced by forcing live smurfs into the nearest supercharger. The freshly smeared guts provide additional lubrication, and by extension–horsepower.

That is all. Act accordingly

Dispatch #1.1 — Always use protection

Space Cowboy — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:00:38 +0000

Surveys show that 95% of people seriously injured or killed while opening bags of Doritos were not wearing condoms.

Stay smart.

Use rubber.

That is all.

Now go do something productive.

Dispatch #1.0 — The Legend of Dragon Pants

Space Cowboy — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:10:39 +0000

The Legend of Dragon Pants states that the color Purple may sometimes be sacred on a Tuesday. Act accordingly, and remember to launder your socks.That is all.

Act accordingly